Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Mommy Monday: What My Social Media Pages May NOT Tell You

Ok Ladies,

Time to get real. Let's just be honest with each other. As humans and as women, we are imperfect, flawed and always striving for more. Am I right? We strive to better ourselves in every way possible. For some, this is for personal satisfaction. For others, this is for the attention and recognition of others. And for many, it's a constant struggle to not compare, be jealous of or try to outdo other women.

I'll be the first to tell you... I've been there. All of those places. And let me tell you; when you move on and solely focus on bettering yourself, and casting aside all other useless reasons why you could want to do more and be more, it is SO freeing.

Whether your purpose becomes serving a greater calling as a Christian, or to be a better wife, mother or friend, or something else for your own sake, it's amazing to let that become your focus. With that said, I'll be honest about a few things that my social media pages may not explain or show you. Impressions you may have of me/my life that I'd like to shed light on, or simply clear up any misconceptions for the sake of being real and transparent. These are all things I've personally heard or been told multiple times, and thought would be worth listing. There are more, I'm sure, but this is my example. I'm sure you each have your own you could list. And maybe you should.

Impression: Your house is always so clean. How do you find time to keep it up so well?
Truth: I tend to be a fairly cluttery person. Just ask my husband. Or, stop by unannounced and you'll get to view the real picture first hand. However, if I know people are coming over, my house will be picked up and as clean as I have time to make it for their sake (and so my piles don't scare them away). :) Okay, a slight exaggeration, but I really do struggle with little messes, and it's a constant effort to become a more tidy person.
P.S. Raise your hand if, like me, you've literally moved clutter out of the way so you could get a picture of your child without showing the mess that exists in the room they're in?

Impression: Your son is always so happy and photogenic.
Truth: While my son truly is a very happy boy (and photogenic, if I may say so myself), he doesn't always want to take a picture or cooperate. In fact, you may have seen a picture of a smiling boy, but then not even 60 seconds later, he could be whining, crying, refusing to smile, the list goes on. Or, I may have just calmed him down from a minor meltdown, him saying "No" to me about 20 times, and then you see the darling image I've somehow managed to capture afterward.

Impression: You seem to cook and bake a lot. That's so great for your family that you enjoy doing that.
Truth:  I do love cooking and baking. However, I haven't once followed through on any meal planning efforts I've made. I want to plan weekly meals, and I want to be more organized in the kitchen, but it just doesn't happen that way. In fact, sometimes I throw it out the window completely because I'm having a lazy week or just don't feel like going to the store. So, what do we eat when Mommy hasn't planned ahead? Frozen pizza, taquitos, pasta with whatever sauce is on hand.... you know, really healthy stuff. Yikes. Now for me to admit that, you know I'm getting honest here.

Impression: You're so thin. You're lucky you don't struggle with your weight.
Truth: I've struggled with food issues my whole life. And I CAN gain weight, if I'm not very careful. I've never had an official eating disorder, but that doesn't mean I haven't obsessed about food or the way it affects my body. I'm a "closet sweets eater". Seriously. I'm embarrassed by the amount of sugar I've allowed myself to eat at various times. I have been known to literally eat candy privately and then when I throw the wrappers away, I purposefully cover them with other trash so no one will know just how much I've eaten that day. Have any of you done this!? I enjoy eating healthy most of the time, but I have always struggled with a sweet tooth. I constantly try to keep my intake to a minimum, but more often than not, I have more than what's necessary.

Impression: You're so strong in who you are, and you seem resilient in your faith.
Truth: I am a very emotional creature. I have real struggles, heartache, pain, personal issues, etc. My faith is firm in the Lord, but that doesn't mean I've never been so shaken because of a circumstance or trial in my life that it wasn't questioned, or when I wasn't crying out to God asking, "Why!?!?". I'm someone that wants to be used in big ways, but often holds myself back because of self doubt and a feeling of not being equipped.

So there you have it. I'll be the first one to admit I don't always have it all together and I most definitely am far from perfect. I don't ever want my status updates, pictures or social media posts to imply I have it all together, have a perfect home, family or self image, etc. I have my own issues, just like any of you. So what things can you admit today? What you can you say you allow others to believe at various times, for the sake of not being embarrassed, or looking weak, or insecure, etc.? What can you admit your struggles are?

All these things are beautiful opportunities I can grow in, change in and move on from. Some areas I'd like to remove (like my cluttery habits and sugar addiction), while others I'd like to expand on (like the joy I get when I cook good meals for my family more often). If you're with me, and have similar areas in your life where you know some people have one impression, but you wish they could realize the truth of it, then accept this: First, we need to break down our own walls, and realize we were never perfect, and never will be. Not even close. And that's OKAY. Second, because we know that, we can embrace who we are. The whole package: imperfections, flaws, shining attributes, positive qualities and all.

1 comment:

  1. I'm happy that you shared these things. Although I know that everyone struggles, I've often thought that you lived a relatively charmed life in a lot of ways. I personally have always struggled with not feeling good enough, especially after giving up my career to be a housewife and then mother. I had these expectations for myself that were not based upon me, but upon what I thought the perfect wife and mother should be. Only through a lot of self reflection and prayer am I starting to feel OK with my imperfections. I'm also focusing less on how I stack up to other around me and trying to capitalize on the things that make me unique and different. It's nice to know that your world, has flaws just like mine! =)